Another gosh dang RWBY One-Shot Parody
by HopesTweet
Summary: Look at the title, it says it all... Rated T for angsty teens


**I don't own RWBY because that would be stupid and yada-yada... Support the official release! Have another one-shot.**

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"Remnant is a world which is home to 2 types of fleshbags, first are Humans who have the potential for greatness but they're too busy being stuck up their own ass."

"And the second are Faunus, who are basically humans but with animal features...For some reason, yeah, we don't really know why or how the Faunus exist but Humans hate them because they're not humans."

"See what I mean about Humans being stuck up their ass?"

"But there are some people on the internet who would LOVE the Faunus for...Certain reasons."

But they were both 'born' in a unforgiving world. An inevitable darkness — creatures of destruction — the creatures of Grimm - set their sights on human & faunus and all of their creations. These forces clashed, and it seemed the darkness was intent on bringing the destruction of the 2 fleshbag races."

"But humankind's passion, resourcefulness, and ingenuity led them to the tools that would help even the odds. This power was appropriately named "Dust". Which was a really stupid name to be honest."

"This discovery further stroked Humankind's ego as it made them think that they were the superior race in Remnant."

"Which was PURE GRIMM SH-"

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Our story begins in Vale, where some pretty ginger prick named _Roman Torchwick and four of his henchmen head down an alley from the shadows. They stop behind Roman, who reignites his cigar without touching it and grins before walking down the road, frightening nearby citizens as they make their way towards the shop From "Dust Till Dawn."_

Which was a shop that sold, you guessed it: Dust.

As the obviously bad guys are heading to the shop, Roman was having a discussion with one of his henchmen.

"Are we going to the pet store Mr. Torchwick? Oooo... Can I get a puppy please!"

Torchwick sighed as he thought about how he has to deal with these idiots. Seriously, he would've preferred having Emerald and Mercury! But nope, he's stuck with these nobodies.

He then replied to the henchman's question with another one. "Let me ask you something, do you see that store over there? What do you think it sells based off of the name?"

The henchman tried to find an answer but couldn't, so he said "Uuuuuhhhh...Sir? I can't read."

Torchwick then facepalmed himself while telling one of the other henchmen to explain, because he's too lazy to do that. Before heading towards the shop, a fast yellow blur went past him, causing him to stop in caution. He then looked both ways before finally arriving inside the shop.

Inside were two people, one was the old man running the shop on a snooze cruise while the other in the far corner was a teenage girl reading what seemed to be a manga.

Torchwick saw the owner sleeping and chuckled. ( Oh, this is way too easy ) he thought as he turned to the men behind him. "Fill up your canisters. After that I'll treat you guys for dinner, I'll pay."

But that girl over there is no ordinary teenage girl reading manga, this is Ruby Rose, the main character ( if you couldn't tell by the name. ) Reading a erotic Evangelion doujinshi about the two boys ( Shinji Ikari and Kaworu Nagisa ) finally "getting it on".

( Man, I can finally read this doujin privately, and it's just as good as I thought! All my fanfics are being drawn to life! ) Ruby thought to herself as she was wearing headphones, causing her to not notice Torchwick and his minions stealing the dust from the shop. One of the men began to fill up his canister when he looked over and noticed her in the back of the store. She was wearing a black dress, brick red stockings, black combat boots, and a crimson cape with the hood pulled over her head.

He glanced over at his comrades before returning his attention to her. He walked over to the girl, trying to get her attention as he got closer.

( This is it, it's finally happening, just one more page turn and- )

She was finally at "that point" in the doujinshi like she hoped and she was surprised when she felt a tap on the top of her head. So surprised, that by instinct from her uncle's training, she'd made the guy crash through the window and jumped out of the store ( dropping her doujinshi ) in worry.

"OhmaygoshohmygoshI'msosorryaboutthatIdidn'tmeantohurtyouand-"

"Hey!" A loud male voice shouted as he interrupted Ruby apologizing to the unconscious henchman.

It was Roman who was obviously NOT happy about his plans being interrupted. "Well?" He asked his other henchmen while pointing at Ruby, "GET HER!"

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-ONE FLASHY FIGHT SCENE LATER-

( I can't write )

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"Ohnonononono..."

After that lazy transition, Ruby seemed to be having a freak out thanks to the...NOT dead henchmen near her, nope, nothing like that!

She then noticed Roman climbing to the top of a building next to the shop. She sprinted after the orange haired man in a attempt to apologize. She reached the ladder and climbed it two at a time, closing the distance between herself and him, Ruby then shouted to Roman.

"Wait! I'm sorry about your friends, I didn't mean to hurt them! Please don't call the police, I'm only 15!"

Ruby really didn't want to go to jail, after all, criminals can't become a huntress!

Then a Bullhead roared up to the rooftop to greet Roman and he leapt into the open bay doors, then he turned around and said "You really are persistent, Red, I'll give you that much. But this is the end of the road." He raised his cane and fired at her. The grenade landed at Ruby's feet. Her eyes widened as the explosion went off. But instead, to his surprise was not a burned corpse, but a blonde haired woman with glasses and riding crop stood next to her. The woman's black and purple cape flapped angrily with the wind. She glared at the man and flicked her wrist. The purple bubble around the girl dissipate and a multitude of purple arrows were launched at the ship. His eyes widened and he ran to the cockpit.

"We've got a huntress!" He said to the woman who is controlling the airship.

Ruby and the huntress looked over and saw that the Bullhead had flown off.

"Um...So...You're a huntress?" She asked her as the blond haired woman glared at her with noticeable anger. The Huntress grabbed Ruby's wrist and marched her over to the ladder. Police and ambulances had arrived and were at the shop, talking to the old man and the men she had killed- I MEAN, beaten up.

"We're going to have a talk with you" The huntress told Ruby.

( Um...Did she say we? )

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"Ruby Rose, you have silver eyes..."

"Yes, and you have grey hair..." She silently mumbled as she was being interrogated by a tall man wearing a green turtle neck and a black blazer jacket.

"So tell me, where did you learn to do _this_?" He asked Ruby as he showed her a recording of the fight between Ruby and Torchwick's henchmen in all it's glory.

"S-signal Academy" she stuttered, surprised that the fight was caught on camera.

"Listen, can I call a lawyer? I really don't want to go to prison, please? I'll do anything!" Ruby was basically begging right now to the mysterious man, who then calmly asked asked "Do you know who I am?"

"N-no, sir."

"I'm Professor Ozpin, the headmaster at Beacon."

Ruby was shocked from what she just heard.

"The headmaster of Beacon? THE Beacon?!"

He smiled and he then asked her if she would like to to come to her school, and said that he will drop any murder charges. Obviously, for the sake of the plot, she said yes.

And so begins the story of Ruby Rose.

"Wait, I forgot my doujin at the store!"

"NOOOOOOOO-

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 **Don't count on this becoming an actual thing.**


End file.
